+1 224. 457. 0906
maksymchuk.yaroslava@gmail.com
+1 224. 457. 0906
maksymchuk.yaroslava@gmail.com
+1 224. 457. 0906
maksymchuk.yaroslava@gmail.com
+1 224. 457. 0906
maksymchuk.yaroslava@gmail.com

YOU ARE NOT YOUR ACHIEVEMENTS: HOW TO FIND YOUR TRUE SELF

What Is Consciousness Development?

Imagine your life as a staircase, where each new step symbolizes not just an accumulation of experience but a qualitative transformation of consciousness. This concept was explored by Robert Kegan, a Harvard University professor and one of the leading thinkers in the field of personal development, often referred to as the "ambassador of human development."
Kegan proved that personal growth does not stop in adulthood — on the contrary, our consciousness continues to evolve, adapting to the challenges of the modern world.

The expectations placed upon us require more than just behavior, acquiring certain skills, or mastering specific knowledge. They require us to work on our minds, change the way we perceive things, and increase the complexity of our consciousness."

Robert Kegan

Consciousness development is not about “leveling up” your skills or accumulating social achievements. It is about changing your way of thinking, which allows you to better understand yourself, your values, and to find meaning beyond conventional boundaries.

Progressing to a New Stage: Development or Transformation?

  • Development – a gradual expansion of capabilities, accumulation of knowledge and experience.

  • Transformation – a fundamental shift in thinking that opens up new perspectives.

Each new level of development does not simply add new competencies; it restructures how we perceive ourselves and the world around us.

Illustration

THE FIVE STAGES OF CONSCIOUSNESS DEVELOPMENT ACCORDING TO KEGAN

Heading photo

1

The Egocentric Self

(Childhood, Adolescence, and Sometimes Adulthood)

Characteristics:

    The person is focused on their own desires and needs.
    The world is perceived through the lens of "I want".
    A lack of empathy and self-reflection.

Example:

Imagine a child who desperately wants a new toy and insists on getting it immediately, without considering the family's financial situation or the fact that they already have similar toys. Their primary concern is immediate gratification.

Challenge:

Learning to delay gratification and recognizing that others also have needs.

  • Interesting fact: Around 15% of adults remain at this stage, which manifests in three common behavioral patterns:

1

Controlling others: A manager who constantly imposes their opinion on the team, ignoring their ideas and needs.

2

Victim mentality and blame: A person who always sees themselves as the victim and blames others for their failures.

3

Constant rebellion: Someone who opposes any authority or rules, even without a valid reason.

Such individuals rarely seek psychological or coaching support because they do not recognize the need for change.

Heading photo

2

The Socialized Self

(The Primary Stage for Most Adults)

Characteristics:

    "I am my achievements, my status, my relationships."
    Self-esteem depends on external validation.
    The person conforms to rules, authority figures, and societal expectations.

Example:

A young professional chooses a career in medicine not because it is their passion, but because it is prestigious and aligns with family and societal expectations.

Challenge:

Even when following all the "right" rules, it does not guarantee inner happiness.
At this stage, the person does not yet have a fully formed "self"—they rely on others' approval to feel valuable.

How This Manifests?

1

The person tends to follow "infallible" mentors or leaders.

2

Conflicts are perceived as threats and trigger defensive reactions (aggression or withdrawal).

3

Dependence on social roles and expectations.

  • 60% of adults remain at this stage for life.

Heading photo

3

The Independent Self

(Transition to Maturity)

    The person realizes: "I am not just my relationships or achievements; I am an individual."
    Personal values, identity, and an internal sense of authority begin to form.
    There is a readiness for self-correction and responsibility for one's decisions.

Example:

A person decides to switch careers from being a lawyer to an artist, despite their family's and society's expectations, because it aligns with their inner calling.

Challenge:

Building inner integrity and accepting all aspects of oneself.

How This Manifests?

1

The person starts questioning the rules they once blindly followed.

2

They learn to stand by their own opinions without conforming to others.

3

They seek genuine connections rather than just fulfilling social roles.

  • Only 25% of adults reach this stage.

Heading photo

4

The Integrated Self

(High-Level Self-Development)

Characteristics:

    The person accepts all parts of themselves — their strengths and weaknesses.
    They are open to different perspectives and can engage in deep dialogue.
    They focus on collaboration rather than competition.
    They maintain inner balance even in difficult situations.

Example:

A psychologist who can work with a variety of clients without projecting their personal biases onto them. They don't just apply techniques—they recognize that each individual is unique. They are not defensive when challenged, as their internal position does not need validation.
Another example is a business leader who seeks the best solution with their team rather than imposing their own viewpoint. They are willing to change their perspective if it leads to a better outcome.

Challenge:

Expanding personal boundaries and not clinging to rigid identities. Understanding that roles are temporary, and growth is an ongoing journey, not a destination.

How This Manifests?

1

The person does not fear doubt or uncertainty but embraces them as part of life.

2

They balance rational thinking with emotional intelligence.

3

They see themselves not just in the context of personal success but as part of a larger system.

  • Only 1% of people fully reach this level, while another 14% are in the transition phase.

Heading photo

5

The Sacred Self

(Spiritual Enlightenment Level)

Characteristics:

    The person experiences a deep sense of unity with the universe.
    They focus not on actions but on a state of presence.
    They accept the world without judgment and live in inner harmony.
    They no longer need to prove anything to others — or to themselves.

This stage is characterized by profound inner peace and the ability to see divinity in themselves and others. Such individuals become active participants in the harmony of the universe, working towards the well-being of all living beings.

Example:

Buddha, the Dalai Lama, Eckhart Tolle — people who transcend the conventional ego and experience life as a flow. They are not concerned with status, evaluation, or achievements — they simply exist.
Ordinary people who reach this stage often become sources of inspiration for others. This could be a monk living in a secluded monastery or a teacher who works with children every day without seeking recognition.

Challenge:

This stage does not focus on achievements in the traditional sense. Instead, it is an awareness that life does not require constant explanations — it simply happens.

How This Manifests?

1

The person does not react automatically to external stimuli.

2

They have no fear of change, uncertainty, or death.

3

They find joy in the simplest things.

  • Less than 1% of adults reach this level.

Why Understanding These Stages Matters

  • 1

    You will better understand yourself and those around you.

  • 2

    You will identify where you currently stand and what you need to grow.

  • 3

    You will realize why some beliefs or situations no longer serve you.

Reflection Questions:

    Which stage do you think you are at?
    What holds you back, and what helps you grow?
    What challenges are you currently facing?
to the blog
  • Illustration

    life coachYaroslava Maksymchuk

Navigation

Legal information

© 2024. Maks Life Coaching. All rights reserved.

Created by @kononska_design

Navigation

Legal information

© 2024. Maks Life Coaching. All rights reserved.

Created by @kononska_design